Dark Beginnings

Darktee was the half-baked idea of two lowly brothers. One could draw, but spent endless hours wasting his talent in a bar in London. The other, a graduate with a bogus degree in something completely worthless to society, worked as a numbers droid in Finance.

One day on a trip to the supermarket, the brothers saw something that scared them to their very core: a row of self-service checkouts.
"Well I'm screwed." sulked the Finance worker.
"I bet they'll be able to pour pints, soon." mused the other.

Later that night the two brothers, feeling downbeat, walked into a dingy pub for a quiet drink.
"I think we’re going to be out of a job soon.” said one.
“ahh Unemployment,” sighed the other, “that old bastard.”
Then one of the brothers had an idea.
“You can draw!” he said looking up at a very bright light bulb.
“And I’ve got that box of plain white T-Shirts I found.” replied the other (rather conveniently).
They looked at each other knowingly: Darktee was born.

Over the next few months they worked hard. They thrashed out a business plan that made little sense; made a Facebook page in about five minutes; and, they visited a sweatshop far-away which had promised to produce cheap, good quality T-Shirts (they were definitely of excellent quality). But, wondered the brothers, just how had the factory managed to keep the costs so low?

“I think it’s the children,” said one pointing at a decrepit child crying under one of the machines, “I think they’re the ones doing the work here.”
“Excellent,” thought the other, “we can promote the T-Shirts as 'hand-made'. People will buy any old crap.”
The brothers laughed. Such terrible working conditions meant the factory could pass on the savings from its low overheads. The brothers could turn a profit and avoid unemployment.

Facts –

- The story is 100% made up, well 99.9% (lawyers ey?!)
- T-Shirts are designed and printed in the UK
- These T-Shirts have been chosen to last hundreds of washes
- Ideally they shouldn't be tumble dried (low heat is best)
- White T-Shirts are best kept with lighter colours; although, in practice, after the first couple of washes they should be fine
- Iron them around the design, or, better still, inside out
- For best results (in life) Darktees should be worn everywhere at all times!

All Illustrations by Barry Clarke
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Graphic Design by Alex Uglow
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